Saturday, October 31, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Sunday, October 11, 2009
The challenge of keeping your mouth shut when you want to talk but need to keep "it" professional...
... Just a random thought/ frustration for my day:
Sometimes it's really damn hard to avoid stepping up, standing out and letting your true thoughts flow out of you because of a need to maintain a level of professionalism.
I realize that this is not a frustration that is unique to my personal work situation; "it's just life sunshine: suck it up and deal with it" right? Yes... I know....
My frustration has nothing to do with my dealings with my clients... more-so it's about industry politics, review boards, and all that gossip and ridiculousness that comes hand-in-hand with being a "popular" woman working in the adult industry where the internet is such a key part of day-to-day life and where the hype created by mostly-anonymous people posting on the net can and does affect business.
I could lay all my thoughts out nicely... I could sit back and let the words flow out of me. I could write all about interactions I've had with other "players" in this game and throw a metaphorical punch back at a few people who tried, (and still try... which makes absolutely no sense to me since now, as an independent, I have no interaction with them, nor am I really competing with them) to knock me out; due to competition, jealousy, ego, or whatever other motivation that I don't understand. But my name is attached to my words unlike those who ignited this desire I have to talk; they didn't play fair from the start and since then I've kinda felt like there's really nothing I can do other than keep my head up and hope that anyone who has watched things play-out can see what really happened despite the veil, (which is to me so transparent).
I've had a few feisty moments where I was fed up and defended myself to a point... but I realize that unless I want to be labeled as a "shit disturber" by people who are ignorant to the truth... it's tough to fight fair with someone who doesn't without it backfiring right back in your face.
Does the truth always prevail? Do nice girls finish first? I dunno... sometimes it's tough to feel really optimistic about the answer to those one... I guess time will tell.
Sometimes it's really damn hard to avoid stepping up, standing out and letting your true thoughts flow out of you because of a need to maintain a level of professionalism.
I realize that this is not a frustration that is unique to my personal work situation; "it's just life sunshine: suck it up and deal with it" right? Yes... I know....
My frustration has nothing to do with my dealings with my clients... more-so it's about industry politics, review boards, and all that gossip and ridiculousness that comes hand-in-hand with being a "popular" woman working in the adult industry where the internet is such a key part of day-to-day life and where the hype created by mostly-anonymous people posting on the net can and does affect business.
I could lay all my thoughts out nicely... I could sit back and let the words flow out of me. I could write all about interactions I've had with other "players" in this game and throw a metaphorical punch back at a few people who tried, (and still try... which makes absolutely no sense to me since now, as an independent, I have no interaction with them, nor am I really competing with them) to knock me out; due to competition, jealousy, ego, or whatever other motivation that I don't understand. But my name is attached to my words unlike those who ignited this desire I have to talk; they didn't play fair from the start and since then I've kinda felt like there's really nothing I can do other than keep my head up and hope that anyone who has watched things play-out can see what really happened despite the veil, (which is to me so transparent).
I've had a few feisty moments where I was fed up and defended myself to a point... but I realize that unless I want to be labeled as a "shit disturber" by people who are ignorant to the truth... it's tough to fight fair with someone who doesn't without it backfiring right back in your face.
Does the truth always prevail? Do nice girls finish first? I dunno... sometimes it's tough to feel really optimistic about the answer to those one... I guess time will tell.
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