The Ugly Side of the Internet's Impact on the Adult Industry...

... So I've been a little contemplative tonight as to whether or not I should share this on my blog; where those who are not totally in-the know about industry politics, might learn more than they want to know... or should I just leave the post where I originally posted it and just move on? My potential clients, many of whom might never have met me might read this post and be turned-off by my affiliation with this situation all-together.

But I decided that since this Blog is supposed to be a chronical of my thoughts and experiences within the sex industry... it has the potential to illustrate some of the things that I have vaguely addressed in the past.

So I'm simply going to share a post that I recently made on a review board - addressing the vicious posts that have been made against me and several other massage attendants. Many of these cruel posts have been made by other women with the intention to hurt their peers.

I'm not going to delve too deep in telling the story right now... I am simply going to share one quote, and my own post in a thread from that site that is dedicated to trashing me.

This is just a snap shot of the ugly side of the Internet's impact on the players within the adult industry...

Jennifer

Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Toronto Posts: 37

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Unregistered Favour to ask of the community. Can someone get a cell phone pic of Jenn's teeth and/or gums? I am contemplating taking up smoking rock and I just want to see what effect it has on the grill. I don't have great teeth but if they're gonna come loose from crack will OHIP cover the fake teeth? Sophie how are your chiclettes?

It's unfortunate how low some of you will sink in the attempt to trash me and my peers.

I don't care who it is - no one deserves to read some of the things that have been written about them on here - not me, not Sophie, not Emily, not Brooke, not Joy and Anita, not Crystal... not Christina and not the mass of other girls who've been bashed from any of the spas.

Do I have a personal beef with one of my peers? Yes - and I have said what
I needed to say on that matter defensively but not with cruelty and only due to the fact that what I was saying was just and unquestionably provoked. It's even safe to say that I would have been just in not restraining myself when I said what I said to keep things "civil" because I know that said peer did not show the same restraint and regard for my feelings. I was kicked long and hard before I even said anything.

I do laugh off this nonsense and I do find it utterly pathetic. I don't expect to make a difference in saying this and I do know that there will be a wave of posts ripping me apart again once this is posted.

But my God people - enough is enough.

to the MPAs here: we are all women in what is sometimes a very difficult profession. I know it's competitive - but that doesn't justify hurting one another - nothing can justify the cruelty and lies and fabrications and exaggerations that women have posted about their peers here.

I don't care who you think you are, at the end of the day, the rest of society looks at us all as being one in the same. If we cannot show kindness - or at least be somewhat civil to one another.. then we destroy the most basic support system that is available to us - one another.

Yes - there's competition - it will always exist... but competition breeds winners. When I was at HFH - that staff was frigg'n incredible... I looked around me and saw stellar attendants. Knowing that a guy could walk in and get incredible service from pretty-much anyone there kept me on top of my game. Every time a reputable girl came to work with us, I embraced her addition - I felt it was great for everyone... it means guys would be more willing to glance at our website, or walk-in, or call on a whim.

This same line of thought can apply to the massage section of our industry as a whole. The more stellar attendants out there, the better it is for all of us.

Just play fair guys. Don't cut one another up to make yourself feel superior. Don't write fake praise for yourself - it's transparent and unnecessary. Don't write fake bullshit about your peers in the attempt to cause hurt ... it's so so so incredibly unnecessary. Don't tell lies and exaggerations to your clients about other girls; Karma will swing back in your direction. At the end of the day - if any of us base our self-worth on the praise we receive on the internet then our biggest issue is with our own self and not with our "annoynous enemies".

We are all in this together whether we like it or not so let's just all please STOP... so we can all stop worrying, and hurting, and hating, and defending, and focus our energy in something that matters. Because this really doesn't. It's not worth it. Please stop.

to the men: I know there are a few instigatiing things here for your own entertainment. Please don't. At the end of the day, it might be funny to you... but I know what it feels like to be hurt... and hurt badly by the cruel things that have been said on the internet about me. My skin is thicker now than it once was - perhaps many of my peers have thicker skin than me... but it is also very-possible that some girls are affected deeply by your words. Please don't make things worse. Please don't hurt people for the fun of it. It's so unnecessary.

There's a big difference between a disagreement and a punch below the belt - please be fair in what you say... please don't attack.

I realize I'm putting myself out to get ripped to shreds... I realize I'm probably an idiot for saying anything at all... but I really am exhausted by ALL of this and I really believe it needs to stop for All of our sakes. I have learned to "turn a blind eye" the majority of the time... but on the occasion that I do look, I'm sickened and ashamed of what people are willing to say about one another for no good reason. This shit has to stop. Please.

__________________
ღ

~ "Competition brings out the best in products and the worst in people." ~ David Sarnoff
~"Don't knock your competitors. By boosting others you will boost yourself. A little competition is a good thing and severe competition is a blessing. Thank God for competition." ~ Jacob Kindleberger
~“Jealous people poison their own banquet and then eat it”- unknown

;)

... Just an FYI: This is not me

I just found out that there is a lady advertising on Craigslist using the name "Jenn" and co-incidentally has a very-close listed age and location as me.

http://toronto.en.craigslist.ca/tor/ers/1444075951.html

JENN is back from Bay and Bloor. Come and Relax with a private Massage !!!!!!!! LOOKING for Gentleman and Ladies!!! I only take appointments by computer and at least a day in advance. I am independant and offer a relaxing full body massage and fetish fun. Very Clean/Shower. HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON
Jenn XO

I'm not sure if I'm jumping to conclusions... If I am then I definitely am going to apologize in advance... It just seems a bit too-coincidental (even the "XO" at the end seems copy-cat to me). I want to make it clear that this is not me.

I do sometimes post on Craigslist, as I have met some very nice gentlemen via that site who don't frequent review boards; it's nice sometimes to meet new people who have no high expectations based on what they might have previously read about me...

I hope I'm mistaken... I genuinely hope someone isn't trying to capitalize on my reputation. (and if she is... I hope she's good and what she does lol)

Happy Halloween!!

... So many times in my life, the right person came into my life at the right time... Everyone comes into our lives for a reason...the reason might not always be immediately clear.... but I truly believe their purpose is real.

The challenge of keeping your mouth shut when you want to talk but need to keep "it" professional...

... Just a random thought/ frustration for my day:

Sometimes it's really damn hard to avoid stepping up, standing out and letting your true thoughts flow out of you because of a need to maintain a level of professionalism.

I realize that this is not a frustration that is unique to my personal work situation; "it's just life sunshine: suck it up and deal with it" right? Yes... I know....

My frustration has nothing to do with my dealings with my clients... more-so it's about industry politics, review boards, and all that gossip and ridiculousness that comes hand-in-hand with being a "popular" woman working in the adult industry where the internet is such a key part of day-to-day life and where the hype created by mostly-anonymous people posting on the net can and does affect business.

I could lay all my thoughts out nicely... I could sit back and let the words flow out of me. I could write all about interactions I've had with other "players" in this game and throw a metaphorical punch back at a few people who tried, (and still try... which makes absolutely no sense to me since now, as an independent, I have no interaction with them, nor am I really competing with them) to knock me out; due to competition, jealousy, ego, or whatever other motivation that I don't understand. But my name is attached to my words unlike those who ignited this desire I have to talk; they didn't play fair from the start and since then I've kinda felt like there's really nothing I can do other than keep my head up and hope that anyone who has watched things play-out can see what really happened despite the veil, (which is to me so transparent).

I've had a few feisty moments where I was fed up and defended myself to a point... but I realize that unless I want to be labeled as a "shit disturber" by people who are ignorant to the truth... it's tough to fight fair with someone who doesn't without it backfiring right back in your face.

Does the truth always prevail? Do nice girls finish first? I dunno... sometimes it's tough to feel really optimistic about the answer to those one... I guess time will tell.

I killed a brain cell

After speaking with a friend who is still involved in the spa world, I was urged to take a look at one of the review boards this morning.

I`ve purposely stayed away for a few months... only a quick glance very very occasionally, (compared to a time when I was a review board addict... it`s a huge change for me).

Let me just say that not only do I feel like I killed a few braincells with my quick looksie... but also... gawd... k - honestly I simply don`t have enough time at the moment to write about this; I have a HELLUVA lot to say and need to be in the mood to start talking. But expect a rant in the next little while.

The spa world = Drama drama drama drama. I`m so glad it`s not part of my life anymore.

More Music To Share

Just a few more songs I likey... :)

Lovage... the running dialogue throughout the song might offend.. (hopefully not). I just love the lead singer's sexy voice. I found this band around the same time that I started-out in the industry... Listening to this track used to put me into "work mode" lol



... Not a track that I would play during a session.. but one of my favorite songs. I love Portishead.



I'm not usually a fan of hip hop but I reallly like a lot of Madlib's work:



I love Esthero:



This song is soooo incredibly sexy:



Sexy house track about stripping. It`s a tad depressing but ... it`s been making me dance lately :P

and just one of my all-time favourite songs... Radiohead -ahhh



... I realize I might be over-doing the music thing lol. My apologies... Music is most-certainly one of my greatest passions and I haven`t been in the mood to dig into industry politics lately... Music is more interesting to me lately lol.

Good-bye Summer 2009...

Whew... that was it?

I'm glad really... fall is always a fresh start.

It has been a summer filled with a lot of fun times with my wonderful friends.
It has also been a summer where I ran into a bit of bad luck lol. I cracked a rib (which affected my ability to work for six weeks. Sometimes the pain was manageable, other days I would have to cancel the remainder of my day after my first session.), and I lost my third iPhone (unfortunately, once you go iPhone, you just can't go back..lol)

I did a lot of self-reflection and I thought a lot about my work.

I went through a phase of having difficulty getting into my work "mode". It wasn't necessarily that my job was "bothering" me... more-so - now that I work on my own and don't really talk to many other girls who are involved in the industry (other than a small handful of friends), I guess I started to feel a bit pulled in two different directions. When I worked in spas, the majority of my friends were co-workers. Over the past year, I became a bit more of a social butterfly, finding some amazing friends in the "real" world. A lot of these friends don't know what I do for a living... and I guess I found it difficult to lead a "double-life".

One of my biggest self-admitted personality flaws is the fact that I can get passive avoidant. I became very passive avoidant with my work. I did not do a good job in replying to e-mails in a timely fashion or getting back to the flood of voice mails I would get on a daily basis. I knew damn well that I wasn't doing my best in being on-top of the communication side of my job... The perfectionist in me would beat myself up over it... but the passive avoidant side of me didn't want to think of the ways in which I had done a poor job... So I just stopped checking my e-mails... I didn't want to see the unread message count... For this, I sincerely apologize. There's no real excuse and it was extremely unprofessional of me... I realize that many people took a lot of time and put a lot of thought into writing me, genuinely wanting to meet me... and I did not give them the respect of replying. I am sorry and I want you to know that I genuinely appreciate your notes and I will read every single one of them, (even though it may be too late to matter). I promise you that any notes that I receive to my e-mail account will be answered within 24 hours from here-forth.

Matt is my phone receptionist. He is also one of my best friends. Deciding to get him to handle my same-day appointment booking and getting him to answer my phones while I am working has made my life easier and helped me improve my level of customer service). It also makes me feel safer as he is in constant contact with me throughout my working day.

I'm trying to set a more structured schedule for myself. It's difficult to operate professionally when everything is flexible. Set start and end times help. Going into work whenever I feel like it isn't a good method of operating for me.

I realize a lot of people might have taken personal offence or might have thought that I was avoiding them... That is not the case.


So I want to apologize to anyone I might have irritated over the past little while. I can and will do better.

It's all about the music....

I love sexy, dark music. Within the last year, I have fallen madly in love with electronic music; especially the kind of hard, "dirty", make you wanna move, tribally, techy, house music that can be found in Toronto's underground club scene. My musical tastes, however, cover a broad range of genres and artists.

While I'm "working", I find the music playing in the background to be of huge importance. Music sets the pace. The right music can affect the way I move, the way I touch... In my opinion, sensuality and massage; especially the type of massage I provide, (ie. "bodyslide") go hand-in-hand. Being sensual means being aware,absorbing, being in-tune, using the senses to full-potential and just flowing.

I think of a body-slide as if it were a sensual dance, the music dictates the metaphorical, (or sometimes literal lol) steps. How can we flow if the music sucks? :p

In some of the spas I worked at in the past, I made little mixes of tunes for us to play; I tried so hard to keep everyone happy with my track selections so they would keep letting me pick what we played in the rooms out of fear, (seriously... I know maybe I'm being dramatic hehe...) of them playing something that I couldn't get into my "groove" to. Ya.. I probably annoyed my employers by constantly feeding them new cds.. but Gawd - when I didn't dig the music that was playing, I felt like the quality of the sessions I was providing went down.

Now that I work on my own, of course I get to call the shots on what I play. What you might hear will range, depending on my mood... regardless, it will be something that makes me feel sexy.

Depeche Mode is right up there in the hierarchy of go-to artists for yummy, sexy tunes:





like helloooooo? yum! ;)

Amy Winehouse.... ya she's not the most put-together of girls... but her music ooozes sexy:


"Music to make love to your old Lady to" is an album that was put out by a collaboration of artists called "Lovage". The title of the album says it all...


... and I looooove Portishead; probably my favourite band. Pretty-much every track they have ever released is amazing:



I have soooooo many more faves... if I don't control myself, this blog could end up being more of a memoir about music lol.... Just a few tunes to share :)

By the way - I looooove finding new music and am always open to suggestions ;)

Proud Gemini :)

Gemini Sensual Zodiac

Zodiac Secrets of the Sensual Gemini Woman

May 22-June22

You were born on the most important day of the year! Your Sensual Zodiac reveals hidden influences about your arousal, your sexuality and your foreplay preferences. These astrological insights give you a richer, deeper understanding of your sexual nature. Discover new intimate secrets about yourself as well as find the keys to your sexual happiness. SensualZodiac

You are among the people most likely to lead a double life.
Sensual Gemini women are among the most secretive and enigmatic
people on earth.

Have you ever wondered what makes you as fascinating
as you are?

Well for starters… when you walk into a room, you bring an elusive
quality that’s hard to define. Your smile is as intriguing as the Mona
Lisa’s and there’s this amazing air of sensual mystery that surrounds
you like a force field. You give the impression you are a woman of
rare talents and deep insights. To others, you appear to have it all:
good looks, style, confidence and an abundance of energy that keeps
you looking younger and more in control than most women.

Fresh, Fascinating, Exciting and Impulsive
Hands down, you win the Sensual Zodiac award for: “The World’s Most Sexually Intriguing
Personality.” What other women merely talk about doing…you’ve already done…and could easily write a book about (if you haven’t already done so). You are the only sign in the entire Sensual Zodiac who can be a great match for any of the other signs.

You truly have a gift for getting along with anyone.
Being around you is never boring. Spontaneity is your personal signature. If your brand of sex
appeal was bottled as a perfume, it might be called “Unforgettable.” Why? Because it’s what
you are.

And here’s another interesting fact about you…
You were never intended for the ordinary life. Your appetite for novelty, change and adventure keeps you moving at a breakneck pace. Freedom is your personal mission statement.

What attracts a Sensual Gemini woman?
Words are your mental aphrodisiac. You fall in love in your mind first and then your heart soon
follows. Any lover who wants to attract and hold your attention must be a great conversationalist. Interesting is more important to you than looks ever will be. You want to live, breathe and exist on a consistent diet of sensual mental stimulation. Passionate mental foreplay is the fastest way to your bedroom door.

Sexually you are magnificent.
When you make love, it’s as if you fall into a trance. Your responsiveness is electric. One passionate kiss on the back of your knees melts you like butter and you begin to sizzle like a hot tamale.

How to seduce you?
The key that unlocks your sensual door is found hidden deep within your very own sexual curiosity. For the Sensual Gemini woman, it’s what opens the door and unlocks her imagination. Just the very thought of new discovery, a unique experience, something unnamed and something untamed… and you melt like ice in the hot summer sun.

Hello World! :)

I’ve finally jumped into the world of blogging. Everyone seems to have one… might as well follow-suit :)

I’ve always found writing to be the best way to sort through the disjointed thoughts that swim around in my mind… especially when it comes to my field of work…

The gossip, the scandal, the good, the bad, the ugly, the funny, the psychological motivations and effects of the sex industry fascinate me. I have opinions, personal experiences, and somewhat of a solid base of knowledge… Additionally, it’s a way for you to get a bit of a feel for who I am.

So… Here we go ;)

xo

Jennifer